Narcissus
by AngelWingsbaka
Summary: Inuyasha Taisho is, to say the least, in love with himself. He finds his body to be so irresistible that no one deserves to have it for too long. Enter Kagome, his new modeling partner, who has a thing for inner beauty, and sets out to show Inuyasha just


Narcissus

A/N- And here it is, my latest atomic bomb of the mind that has somehow mutated itself into a story. How? Only god knows… Why? Cause I'm stupid like that… Heh, okeys, read, review, throw rotten fruits and veggies at me….

Disclaimer: Well then, I highly doubt there's really anyone out there mindlessly reading fics, looking for someone they can sue because they're lacking in a disclaimer, but what the heck? I don't Inuyasha and co. But creative rights for this story plot are indeed mine.

Chapter key  
'words' Thoughts  
"words" Dialogue  
_Italic_ words Dream  
**Bold** words Emphasis on a word

* * *

Chapter One : Flying shoes, and cat food keys. 

Kagome covered her face in utter embarrassment as Sango threw her shoe at the bouncer, screaming unnecessary profanities at him. This was about the fifth club in a row that she had been thrown out of.

"I'll never understand those son of a bitc-" Sango was cut off as her shoe came flying back at her. "Why you mother- I swear you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" the older girl screamed waving her shoe while Kagome dragged her away from the nightclub.

"What is their problem?" Sango growled angrily as she slipped her shoe back on, hopping to keep pace with Kagome. Kagome sighed.

"Sango, it **was** a 21 and over club. You're lucky they let us in, which by the way, was only because they like a pretty face, and I have minor connections; **which** by the way are all getting destroyed by you." Kagome paused to glance at her still half drunk friend, who was wobbling along by her side.

Kagome sighed. She knew her friend only wanted to have fun, but getting piss drunk and trying to strangle the bartender because she apparently spoke to you in the wrong way was not what Kagome defined as fun.

"W-what in god's name even brought you to think that the bartender, the **straight** bartender would look at you like that?" Kagome asked, knowing Sango was probably still not sober enough to give a plausible answer.

"She asked if I wanted another round!" Sango flared angrily. "Like, she was implying that she had already gone a round with me or something!" she exclaimed heatedly.

Kagome sighed. "She was asking you if you'd like another round of drinks Sango…" she replied in disdain. "Anyways, no more partying for tonight, you need to sleep off the alcohol." She said handing her friend two aspirin that she knew she'd need in the morning.

"Okeys." Sango replied in a slur, walking into her apartment, which Kagome had helped her open, on the account that she couldn't tell the difference between a doorknob and a street lamp.

* * *

Shaking her head, Kagome opened the door to her own apartment, flicking on the light switch by the door and sighing as her cat, Ajax, mewled for food, rubbing himself against the length of Kagome's leg. 

"Yes, yes, one moment your majesty." Kagome said playfully, lifting the soft gray tom cat into her arms, scratching his ears affectionately. Then, setting Ajax down, she proceeded to the small kitchen, grabbed a can of wet cat food from the cupboard, undid it with a can opener, and dropped it's contents into Ajax's food dish.

'Now that that's taken care of…' Kagome thought idly as she walked to her room, and pushed the door open. Then she proceeded to glance at the bathroom, and her bed. 'Shower, or bed. Shower, or bed… Where do my priorities currently lie?' she though. Glancing once more, at the bathroom, and then at her bed, Kagome made her decision.

"Why do what's reasonable, when you could do what your body demands?" she said in a tone that was meant to convince herself that she was, in fact, doing the right thing, as she plopped down on her bed, and pulled the soft covers over herself.

Too bad she didn't remember to set her alarm clock as she slipped into the delightful bliss known as sleep…

* * *

_"Quickly now Kagome! You're up next!" one of the stage directors called in a rushed tone_. 

_"Shoot, shoot, shoot!" Kagome could scream. What was up with this stupid dress? It **was** her size just two days ago! How could it suddenly just not fit? Sucking in her belly as much as possible, Kagome managed to get the zipper up just in time as her name was announced._

_"And now, sporting the latest afternoon formal wear, Kagome Higurashi!" the announcer said loudly as Kagome put on her best -this is so comfortable, and in no way is cutting off oxygen to my lungs- smile. _

_Breathing heavily Kagome walked slowly down the runway, as to make sure everyone got a good look at the dress. 'You can do it Kagome, you can do it! So concentrate on breathing!' she desperately thought to herself._

_But it wasn't helping. "Heh… hehehe… Why is the world getting all fuzzy black like I'm about to pass out?" Kagome quietly questioned herself, as she felt he feet giving. 'Good bye sweet, sweet career!' she cried mentally as she fell to the side, off of the runway, only to be caught by a man with gray hair, and yellow green eyes. And then… her licked her…_

_"Mrow" _

_-end dream-_

_

* * *

_

"Mrow, Mroooooow" was the first thing Kagome heard as she reentered the conscious world to having her face bathed by Ajax.

"Ag, Ajax, what's the deal with waking me up so early?" she yawned as she turned to gaze at her clock, which read 8:34 A.M. "Mmmm… eight thirty four… Wha? Eight thirty four?" Kagome screamed as she jumped out of bed.

Ajax almost met an unfortunate end as Kagome flung the covers from herself and sprung to her closet. "How could I have not remembered to set my alarm clock? I've got that meeting to decide who's gonna be my modeling partner for the next year, at Ten! I'm so dead!" she screamed at herself as she grabbed a light green tang top and a pair of faded jeans, and ran to the bathroom.

Practically tearing off her clothes, Kagome Jumped in the shower and turned the water on full blast. "Aaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee" the scream echoed through the entire apartment complex as Kagome fumbled with the water knob, turning it away from cold as fast as she possibly could.

"Lather rinse repeat! Ag! No time for that! Throw shampoo on head, drown self in water, get out!" she scolded herself as she showered as quickly as humanly possible.

Tumbling out of the shower Kagome nearly fell and cracked her head on the tile as her wet foot slid against it. Eyes frantic, Kagome grabbed onto the towel rack, stopping her from falling.

"Phew" she sighed, but then her eyes widened as the towel rack pulled out of the wall and sent her tumbling down anyways. Landing on her elbows and behind, Kagome bit her tongue in efforts not to curse whoever decided slippery tile belonged in bathrooms.

Pulling herself up, Kagome pulled on her cloths and threw her wet hair into a messy bun atop her head, and sped out of the bathroom like she was super man on speed. Headed for the door Kagome nearly left before realizing something very important. You need to keys to drive a car.

"Keys, keys, keys!" she nearly ground out threw her teeth as she searched frantically in every cushion and corner of her house. Glancing at the microwave, Kagome noted that the clock read 9:10. "Aaahh! Keeeeeeeys! If I were my keys, where would I have let me leave myself?" she asked herself in a hysteria.

Stopping Kagome took several deep breaths. "Ok Kagome, calm down. Just think, where did you leave them last night?" .

"Mrow." Kagome idly noticed Ajax pawing at his food dish, like something was in the way. "Wha…." Kagome raised an eyebrow as she walked over and pulled the dish from the cat.

"Ha…. Keys…" she murmured as she picked them out of the wet cat food. With time ticking away, she didn't bother washing them off as she dashed out of the door, nearly forgetting to lock it.

* * *

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, stopping at a red light as he continued to listen to his best friend ramble on about who's chest was how big. 

"You know, Miroku, sometimes I wonder if the only reason you're my friend, is so that you can tag along and pick up models while you're at it." He said pointedly as the light turned green and he turned left.

Miroku gasped "Why, Inuyasha! I would never take you valued, precious friendship for granted like that! Besides, aren't you my gay lover?" he asked in a hurt tone.

Inuyasha smirked "Yeah, only I could turn the infamous womanizing Miroku Houshi, gay." He said, laughing at his joke.

"Naw, I still love women more than I love you Inuyasha darling." Miroku cooed jokingly as he flipped out a small, bright purple notepad from his pocket.

Inuyasha glanced over momentarily before averting his eyes once more back to the road. "What's that?" he asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"This my friend, is my little purple notebook, containing the bra sized of nearly every beautiful female I meet, or know I'm going to meet. Including all of your possible to-be partners at today's meeting." Miroku winked.

"Heh. And you think your 'little purple notebook' will be more auspicious than a little black one?" He asked coming to a halt at a stop sign this time.

"Of course!" Miroku replied as Inuyasha began to pull out into the intersection "First, Kagome Higuraaaaah" Miroku was cut off lurching forward in his seat as Inuyasha hit his breaks, narrowly avoiding a collision with a midnight blue convertible that sped by.

"What the hell was that?" Inuyasha yelled, blaring the horn before proceeding through the intersection in the same direction.

Miroku sighed "A near death experience of course. Now back to the bra sizes…. She was a C-34, not too small, not too huge. Next, Mei Miwamita, D-40…"

* * *

Kagome nearly had a heart attack as she narrowly missed hitting a silver Jaguar. "Ahaha… Hope they're not to mad about that" Kagome sweat dropped. 

Arriving at her favorite coffeehouse "Caffeine Heaven" she parked and ran inside, noting that her wristwatch said 9:30.

Sango winced at the sounding of a bell, that rung every time someone entered the coffee shop, and looked up to see Kagome rushing in, headed for the counter. "Ah, hey, Kagome… Do you remember what I did last night? I'm kinda blurry on it." She said softly, afraid that if she spoke too loud, her head would explode from the horrible hangover she had.

"You tried to kill another bartender for 'looking and/or talking to you in the wrong way', it was a girl bartender this time." Kagome replied in a rushed tone as she ordered a double chocolate mocha.

"Aaaahhgg" Sango moaned to herself. Soon she wouldn't be allowed in a single nightclub within a 100-mile radius. "Next time stop me before I get that drunk." She told her friend, rubbing her forehead.

"I tried to this time, but you tried to strangle me using some random guy's hands when I mentioned 'no more drinks for tonight'" Kagome replied paying. "I've been met with several –close to death- experiences lately, first you last night, and then I almost hit this Jaguar on 5th avenue about 6 minutes ago."

Sango opened her eyes and looked at her friend "5th avenue,6 minutes ago? 5th avenue is a 15 minute drive from here doing 10 miles over the speed limit!" she said in shock.

Kagome shrugged as she grabbed her Mocha "So I was driving a little fast. Anyways, I gotta go now, important modeling meeting thing, bye love ya!" Kagome said in a hurried voice, as she rushed to the door, running into someone on the way out.

* * *

By the time Inuyasha had pulled up to Caffeine Heaven he was sure Miroku had told him the bra size of nearly every female in existence, and he was slightly curious how his friend had managed to obtain the cup size of each and every girl he named off. 

"Hey, isn't that the car that almost hit us?" Miroku exclaimed as he stepped out of the Jaguar. Inuyasha glanced over to where Miroku was looking, and indeed, there it was, a small midnight blue convertible with the hood up.

"Maybe we'll have a little talk with Mr. 'lets try and cause wrecks' when we get inside" Inuyasha said just before a girl with raven black hair and blue gray eyes shoved into him.

"Sorry!" he heard her yell as she continued on her way. Turning back Inuyasha shook his head and entered the coffee house, Miroku in tow. People these days…

"Hey Inuyasha, it's 9:43, aren't you going to be late for that meati…." Miroku stopped mid-sentence as his eyes landed a girl with dark brown hair, and chocolate eyes sitting in one of the plush purple chairs in the far left corner of the shop.

Strutting over to her while Inuyasha ordered his coffee, Miroku put on a sly smile and leaned against Sango's chair. "Hi, how are you?" he asked smirking. This was his favorite pick up line. Usually they'd reply "fine" and then he respond with a "Why yes you certainly are, but I wanted to know how you were doing."

"I feel like crap." Was the response he received. Miroku faltered, now what line would he use? "Haha, eh, well you look fine" he replied winking.

Sango looked up at the man who had just used the corniest pickup line she had ever heard. "Go away before I vomit on you." Were her sincere to the extreme words.

"Miroku! Get your ass over here, we gotta go!" Inuyasha called from the doorways of the coffee house.

"Oh how vindictive fate is to me my beauty, but fear not, for we shall meet again!" Miroku blew Sango a kiss as he left.

"Idiot." Sango murmured as she sipped her coffee.

* * *

A/N- And that's all for chapter one Small notes : Ajax was the name my boyfriend suggested I name my cat. In the end I named him Damion ( he just didn't look like an Ajax). So I named Kagome's cat Ajax instead. As for the "Mrow" instead of "meow". Well, that's cause my cat doesn't go meow, he go goes "mrow". And as for the "Yes you certainly are fine, but I asked how you were doing" pick up line, yes, I've had it used on me, and I found rather corny. 

Oh And I made a little song to encourage you to review!

The review song  
Review, review, review,  
Or I'll stick a spork in you  
Review, review, review,  
Or I'll dye your eyebrows blue 

Uh… yeah… Not so convincing huh? Lol

CCCC (Comments, Compliments, and Constructive Criticism) is greatly appreciated!


End file.
